Monday, March 3, 2014

Let's Talk about Canker Sores

I feel like this is a taboo subject because no one wants to be associated with mouth sores but I'll say it:  I get terrible canker sores.

I can see where the stigma comes from: you say "mouth sore" and people imagine big, contagious cold sores or herpetic blisters, but these are different.  They're inside your mouth and make basically everything you do painful for a week.  Supposedly they're stress related so basically if you get one you're shit out of luck.  I've gotten them on my gums and the inside of my lips and even sometimes five at a time but they have never been unbearable.

Until now.

I have one on the underside of my tongue, right near the tip.  You know, the part that is constantly touching your teeth and rubbing against them when you talk or eat or breathe.  It is brutal.  I was crying from the pain after accidentally biting it and I don't think physical pain has made me cry since I was a little kid.

I have the option of working from home so I opted to do that today, knowing that I wouldn't be able to eat my ice cream lunch at work without any weird looks.  I thought I was in the clear, mostly just using hand motions to communicate with my mother and emailing colleagues with questions.

Then my boss called me asking if I would be on a conference call.

Now let's forget about the fact that when I attempt to talk I sound exactly like Woody Harrelson in "True Detective":

lots of "sh" noises everywhere

It brings me nearly to tears every time I attempt to talk normally.  I spent 10 minutes going over a document I wrote with a bunch of people I've never met (i.e., people who I don't want to think I sound like Woody Harrelson) and was nearly in tears again by the end of the call.

This thing is only getting worse.  Every morning I wake up excited for it to finally be in the "almost gone" stage, but instead I gingerly tap it against my teeth to check and realize that it's even worse than the day before, something I didn't even think possible.

Who gets these? What do you do for them? Do you have some crazy trick passed down from your grandma you can share?  I'm dying over here.

Although, I can't say I have any complaints about my inability to eat much other than ice cream.


  1. I don't have a remedy for you, sorry... I just wanted to pop in to say I'm REALLY SORRY you're going through this, lol. I used to get really bad canker sores a few years ago so I am intimately familiar with your pain. Physician recommended me to use Campho-phenique to manage the pain... it helps a little. Now I have GERD which is also stress-affiliated and basically now I have to think weeks ahead of any stressful situation & get all preemptive with Prevacid so the acid doesn't get out of hand and wreck my throat & mouth. If you think that's typically the cause of your cankersores I'd highly recommend getting on Prevacid. (Its supposed to be 14-day cycle but I have been rec'd to take it daily.) Good luck dude.

    1. Oh my gosh that sounds awful, I can't imagine having to prepare two weeks beforehand because you never know what's going to make you stressed. Thanks for the recommendation I am going to look into that! I think the stress of this big one is causing another little one to form and basically I'm a mess haha.