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Friday, February 28, 2014

The One That Got Away

Back around 2010, I had a passionate love affair with the Vince Paper Leather Draped Jacket.  I sought it out everywhere, I touched it and put it on every chance I got, I Googled it obsessively, but it was never actually mine.  I was in school then and dropping $1000 on a jacket just was not going to happen (frankly, it wouldn't happen now either), so my lust was never fully satisfied.  Then, maybe two years after this all started, I was in a TJ Maxx and spotted it - the jacket of my dreams.  The problem?  It was an extra small, way too tight in the shoulders for me.  But there was an alternative, there was a grey suede jacket in the same style and I bought it immediately figuring it was good enough.

It wasn't.  It didn't satisfy my needs at all (plus my then boyfriend made fun of it), and so I returned it and continued looking.  A year or so after that, I saw the perfect jacket in another TJ Maxx, this time in Dallas, and it was even on clearance.  I tried it on and loved it, but it all felt anticlimactic.  I had tried this same jacket on so many times, lusted after it so intensely, that when it was finally within my reach it was like "oh, that's all?".  I looked at myself in the mirror.  I looked the same, just now with this jacket on.  I wasn't transformed into Lauren Conrad or whoever I felt like this jacket would make me back then, I was still regular me.  I put it back and didn't buy it, telling myself I've gone three years without it so I don't need it now.

I regret that everyday I go to put on my Vince draped leather jacket and then realize I don't own one because I had this romantic fantasy about it that it didn't live up to.  It was me, it wasn't the jacket.  The jacket was perfect, it just wasn't the right time for me.  Or something.

I am determined not to let that happen with the Vince jacket below.  It's gorgeous and I want it ASAP and I'm still not going to spend $1000 on it but I feel fairly confident I will possess it pretty soon.  And then I will appreciate it for what it is - a gorgeous jacket, and not the key to finding self confidence.

  1. J. Crew Merino Zip Shoulder Sweater, $79.50.  A twist on a classic, I love the Dark Artichoke, Oatmeal Stone and Ivory colors.
  2. J. Crew Collection Featherweight Cashmere Long Sleeve Tee in Varsity Stripe, $228.  I really like the stripes on the sleeves of this otherwise basic cashmere tee; it could make an otherwise plain outfit feel new and interesting.
  3. Vince Leather Scuba Shawl Collar Jacket in Blush, $995.  Vince leather jackets are the best and this one appears to be no exception - the blush color is perfect for spring and the super-soft lightweight leather makes it ideal for the weather.
  4. Essie Fashion Playground.  Described as a "plucky pistachio green shimmer", I think maybe this could be what all the Hamptons polishes promised but weren't.  Plus, I love me a good bluish green.
  5. Alice + Olivia Silk/Lace Crop Top, $176.  I haven't been able to get into the crop top trend so far but I can see myself doing it with this one.  The conservative cut in the front is perfect for me while the lace back keeps it from being too stuffy (or, as stuffy as a crop top can be anyway).  I would love this with a long pleated maxi skirt.
  6. Equipment Sleeveless Slim Signature Blouse, $178.  Equipment makes gorgeous silk blouses and this one does not disappoint.  I love the dusty rose color and the way it looks with white jeans.
  7. Theory Holleen Pencil Skirt, $78 (on sale!).  A crisp white pencil skirt completes any business casual outfit and makes your blah black blazers look a little more appropriate for the season.  I love this one.
What is everyone else lusting after for spring?

Law & Order: SVU Detectives, Ranked


My college roommates used to dread Tuesdays.  On Tuesdays, USA Network would marathon Law & Order: SVU all day, and I would spend all of the time I didn't have to be in class camped out in the living room, watching SVU and occasionally doing homework or eating food.  I don't know what it was about the show that sucked me in, but I still can't bring myself to watch anything else when it's on.  I've probably seen every episode 20 times at least, but I still love watching. Sometimes I find this strange given the subject matter and the fact that the regular Law & Order: Basic doesn't do it for me, but the heart wants what the heart wants, and mine wants SVU.  As such, I decided to take it upon myself to rank all the Law & Order: SVU detectives from throughout the years, even that curly haired lady from when Olivia took a little break whose name you don't remember (PS, it's Dani).

1.  Elliot Stabler


And it's not even close.  Stabler's overprotective dad routine combined with his yelling "you're sick!" at every perp, not to mention that body doing pushups in the episode where he voluntarily went into solitary confinement to see what it was like, make him my all time favorite.  I know they replaced him with hottie Amaro but it's not the same - Stabler's appeal is less obvious and more about his personality.  Don't forget to check him out in Oz, I haven't finished the first season yet (which he isn't in) but I hear he gets naked at one point.

2.  John Munch


This is probably an unexpected choice but Munch's old-man and self deprecating Jewish guy things make him so incredibly and unexpectedly lovable.  He's always there in the background, ready to crack a one-liner and then disappear into stage left for the rest of the show.  Watching him interact with kids is adorable, reminiscent of the way that your grumpy grandpa used to somehow tolerate your silly little-kid antics, secretly loving them but outwardly trying to keep up the tough exterior.  Plus his ears are adorable.

3. Fin Tutuola


Fin's role as the street-smart guy who explains new trends to the rest of the detectives makes for some truly hilarious scenes, particularly the one where he explains what being on the "down-low" is, which by the way I had never even heard of so thanks, Fin, for teaching me that as well:



Moving.  There's also a soft side to Fin that we see as he comes to terms with his own son's homosexuality, which I like as well.  Really though, it's just hilarious that he's always the one to play a bad guy if they need to go undercover.

4. Nick Amaro


Look at this guy.  I don't think I even need to say anything.  He frequently doesn't wear a shirt and it rules.  He also has a cute family and appears to be a devoted father.  He grapples with his first kill in the line of duty, something I don't think we see our detectives do enough of.  He seems very down to earth and fills Stabler's shoes as the hothead in both professional and personal life quite well.

5.  Olivia Benson


I struggled with putting Olivia down this far.  She's great - compassionate, caring, intelligent, super sexy in the last few seasons, but sometimes it feels like she's kind of just there.  I have enjoyed watching the progression of her hairstyles throughout the seasons and definitely the progression of her wardrobe from zoot suits to leather jackets and tight tops today.  I think what gets to me is that, even after 15 seasons, she still is surprised by everything, and she puts on the "surprised and disgusted" face every single time.  Come on girl, you've seen this before.

or maybe not

Either way, she's an invaluable asset to SVU and that woman they got to replace her when she was gone was awful so I would say she's irreplaceable too.

6. Amanda Rollins


She's cute, she has a really mellifluous accent, there's really no complaints I have about her.  I think she adds a lot to the team and it's nice having a female detective available to play the nurturing motherly role besides Olivia, who must get exhausted of having compassion for every single person ever.  I like Rollins, I just don't know enough about her yet.

7 and 8. Monique Jeffries and Brian Cassidy


These two were around in Seasons 1 and 2, with Cassidy appearing again in the much later seasons.  We didn't see enough of them to be able to adequately rank them, though Cassidy, frankly, seemed like an idiot and often suspected victims of lying, and Jeffries slept with a suspect which is weird as hell. 

8.  Chester Lake 


I can't tell if I love this guy or hate him.  His acting is comically bad, like totally flat delivery at all times, in an episode where Olivia is stabbed in her apartment and she's on the phone with him he just slowly gets up and says "Don't worry Liv, we're on the way" and then rallies the troops in a very unenthusiastic way.  Did no one notice this guy was totally emotionless before hiring him?  Then, to leave the show, they have him murder a suspect, like totally out of character with his zen demeanor he just goes out there and kills a guy.  Very strange.  

9.  Dani Beck


And it's not even close.  Okay, first off, your accent is terrible.  Second off, how are you gonna kiss your partner who you barely even know so soon when you know he has a wife and many children?  You're just over the top and annoying and honestly that hoodie under a utility jacket is not only not a good look but it's also entirely unprofessional.  Step your game up.

Anybody disagree with my assessments?  I might have forgotten some detectives, I know I skipped Anthony Andersen who was terrible in his one episode stint.  Next up, ADAs or crime scene investigators.  I know who's coming in first in both of those already.

Friday Frustrations: Fake Quotes

Really, what's the deal with these?  Why do people just randomly attribute so many things to Marilyn Monroe and Albert Einstein?

I remember in the days of AOL/AIM profiles a huge thing was including "quotes".  In high school, we would seek out quotes and write them everywhere - on binders, in away messages eventually in our yearbook (and, by the way, at least 5 girls in my graduating class quoted Carrie fucking Bradshaw).

I remember one a girl I didn't like very much had in her profile that I stalked obsessively precisely because I didn't like her very much.


Wise words, Marilyn.  Who would have thought they talked about "drama" in her day?  I guess she were really ahead of your time.  This quote is so poignant for the about-to-go-to-college generation that it's incredible that Marilyn was able to word it so well.

Except she didn't.  She clearly didn't and it's insane to me that this is so widely attributed to her.  '"Live it up, drink it down"?  Please.  Another one of her popular ones:


Come on, they didn't even have size zeros back then!  Marilyn would have never felt this way because there wasn't pressure on her to be thinner than she was.  And yet, we take this and attribute it to her as if that somehow gives it greater meaning, more than it would have just being superimposed over a picture of a sunset or a beach or whatever else.

Audrey Hepburn is another popular target for this kind of nonsense.  I'm pretty sure this one was in my yearbook (but I won't check because lord knows I never want to look at that ever again):


Audrey Hepburn, the proponent of laughter as the best "calorie burner", as though people talked about calorie burners all the time when she was alive and obsessed over weight the way we do now.  What does believing in pink even mean?  Really, I don't get it.  I believe that pink exists as well.  In fact, I'm sure it does.

But what about the quotes not about girls just having fun?  Surely Marilyn and Audrey can't be the only ones this happens to!

And they're not.  Albert Einstein, intelligent as he was, has probably said only about half of the things attributed to him on Pinterest.  He was smart, but let's not forget that he was not a philosopher, so why is he being constantly quoted about finding happiness in life and things like that?  Here's his famous quote: e=mc^2.  It's definitely not some pseudo-scientific quote about the key to finding happiness or finding God or whatever else.


Wise words, Alby.  Too bad you probably never said them.  Maybe they'll help some kids somewhere figure out how to be a little more independent, though.

My favorite that I encountered while looking for some obviously fake quotes was this by Jackie Chan, talking about an issue that really has only been recently talked about widely in the media:


Quite contrary to this quote, Jackie Chan has admitted to being a bully in the past! (And this I'm sure is a real quote):


I tried finding a source for the above quote but all I could find was references to the quote itself on sites about cyber bullying; it appears there is no original source for this.   Frankly, as a bullied kid, it's offensive that people just make this shit up and ultimately make other kids feel bad for not being able to stand up for themselves the way he did.  But why Jackie Chan?  Marilyn and Audrey are the women we dream of becoming as girls, Albert Einstein is probably the most widely known genius and is generally considered to be one of the smartest people to have lived, and Jackie Chan... well he's Jackie Chan.  He made some movies I guess.  He does his own stunts, that's cool.

Can we please stop doing this?  It's stupid and it's weird and it just is disturbing how easy it is to make something up and attribute it to someone else and get everyone in the world to believe you (not to mention get a thousand repins on it).  It's also disturbing how few people fact check these things before using them as inspiration for their lives.  But really, the major issue I have with it, is it perpetuates the value that society puts on fame and celebrity; these quotes are meaningful because of who they come from, and if they didn't come from these people then they're just not worth reading.  

We are all worth listening to, famous or not, so there's no need to hide behind some fake attribution hoping that this will make someone listen to your words.  It is only when we stop thinking that fame dictates a person's worth that we can finally start thinking for ourselves and listening to our own words (- Megan McClen).

And so, I leave you with the quote in here that is most likely to be real, not to mention my personal favorite.


Namaste.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

On Being Late

It happens sometimes, I get it.  You hit unusual traffic, there was a family emergency, something really time sensitive came up - I am not unsympathetic by any means, and I totally understand when things like this happen.

However, if you hit this traffic every day or you're consistently late by the same amount of time, every time: leave earlier.

If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time, stick to it.  Don't give me an unreasonable estimate - I'd rather you tell me a later time than you consistently be much later than you say you will.

For starters:


You have one of these everywhere.  On your phone you're constantly checking, on your wrist, on your cable box.  Look at it often and if it's looking like you're going to be late, let me know.  If you tell me to be ready by 8:00, I will be ready by 7:55 just in case so if it's 7:30 and you haven't even showered yet, just tell me so I can stay in my sweatpants too.  There's nothing worse than being all dressed up and waiting by the window for someone to come get you.  I don't care if you will be late if you tell me, I do care if you consistently lie and say you're on your way when you're not and make me be constantly on my toes that you'll be there any second.

I had a friend who lived maybe 15 minutes from me, yet every time she left to come pick me up it would take her 45 minutes.  She would say "leaving now!" when really she was just sitting down to leisurely put on some makeup.  It was infuriating.  The whole point of telling someone you're leaving is specifically so they know when to be ready; lying defeats the whole purpose.

Even more than being annoying though, it's disrespectful.  You want me to be sitting there waiting for you, not doing other things I would rather be doing, while you take your time?  By being late, you're telling people that your time is more important than theirs and not only is that incredibly narcissistic, it's rude as hell.

So many of my friends and even coworkers are like this and I don't know how to deal with it.  Why can't we just agree on a time and stick to it?  Why can't other people get it together enough to figure out what damn time it is and be ready when they say they will?

Late people - why????  I'm genuinely curious, I've never gotten a good answer.  If you're half an hour late to everything, how come you can't figure out how to just leave half an hour earlier?


Casual Thursday

I'm taking a vacation day tomorrow because it's going to expire otherwise so since this is my last day of the week, I didn't feel like dressing up much.  Also, I slept at my boyfriend's and can't be held responsible for the outfits I pick out without trying them on the day before at 5:45 AM.


sweater: zara sparkly thread open cardigan || top: cynthia rowley long sleeve v neck || pants: hilton hollis ponte skinny pants


Staying at his house is annoying because I never have all the things I need.  I need to start putting my stuff together the night before so I don't forget anything (last time, I forgot every piece of makeup I owned... naturally the next day at work everyone thought I was sick) but then I need so many of those things to use in the morning so they can't be packed away.

Maybe I should just be more organized?  Nah.



Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Gilt Reads my Blog

And apparently they don't like it.  Or they're proponents of the patriarchy, working tirelessly to keep our wallets empty as well as our bodies bedridden.

SKY-HIGH HEELS

Gilt basically just said "screw you" to me (and I am sure this was specifically for me and not totally unrelated).  Nothing to elevate your look and make you really ladylike like a complete inability to walk and big, throbbing blisters!

Watchlist Wednesday: Waiting for Warmth

Ever since signing my shore house leave I have not stopped thinking about summer and my inadequate swimsuit collection.
  1. Nanette Lepore Red Anchor Lining button Swimsuit Bottoms, size M, sold by BHFO; currently $0.99 and retails for $88.  Ends 3/1 at 1:51 PM.
  2. Becca Ocean Tanzania Underwire and Skirted Bikini set, top size L and bottoms size M; sold by mn1111; currently $3.24 and retails for $138.  Ends 3/3 at 9:22 AM. 
  3. Becca Red Ruffled Halter Bandeau Top, size M, sold by discountmoda; $7.20 (buy it now) and retails for $72.00
  4. Becca Red Low Rise Ruffled Bottom, size M, sold by discountmoda; $5.80 (buy it now) and retails for $58. 
  5. Raisins Moon Lite Shayla Ruffle Top and Tassel Bottom Bikini, both pieces size L, sold by mn1111; currently $0.99 and retails for $77.  Ends 2/2 at 7:57 AM.
  6. Hula Honey Reversible Black with Bird Print and Yellow Pin Dot Bottom, size XL, sold by discountmoda; $3.60 (buy it now) and retails for $20.
  7. Raisins Fringe Gray With Blue and Green Top, size L, sold by discountmoday; currently $14 and retails for $28.  Ends 2/27 at 5:16 PM.
  8. Alice + Olivia Marielle Pleated Silk Dress, size 6, sold by BHFO; currently $21.70 and retails for $440.  Ends 3/1 at 3:33 PM.
  9. Milly Cabana White Ruffle Side Tie Bottom, size S, sold by mn1111; currently $0.99 and retails for $88.  Ends 2/26 at 1:26 PM.
I love those ruffle/fringe top bathing suits because they make small chested gals like myself look a little less boring and flat.  The kinds here, #5 and #7 (both by Raisins) are super cute options, especially #7 which is gray underneath meaning it will match really well with most any bottoms.  I love the bird print bottoms of #6, even moreso because they're reversible for added versatility which is nice.  I threw the dress in here too because it reminds me of summer, seems like just the kind of cool, flowy thing you'd wear on an August dinner-date, and I want it so badly for that exact reason.

Looking at bathing suits is making me regret my decision to agree to go out for barbecue after work tonight but that's okay.  I deserve it, right?

Basically The Worst Thing to Wear When Going to a BBQ Place After Work

...is a light colored silk top.  What is wrong with me?  Once I was wearing this blouse and when I got home I really wanted cookies like, immediately, so I figured I'd put them in the oven first thing and then change.  I was having trouble getting the top off the cooking spray I guess so I was holding it with the bottom against my stomach, giving this blouse a lovely ring of Pam right smack in the middle.  It was a miracle the dry cleaner was able to get it out since it was grease but I think this shirt is just doomed.  In case you were concerned, the cookies still came out great.

pants: 3.1 phillip lim slacks in navy (not sure if those are the exact same but they look it) || blouse: theory sandwashed silk asymmetric draped top || shoes: stuart weitzman tortoise loafer pumps || bag: balenciaga papier two-tone flap || belt: tommy hilfiger calf hair leopard


watch: michael kors layton two tone || ring: david yurman color classics peridot || nails: essie "little brown dress"

Maybe I'll get a burger or mac and cheese or something else not too messy.  Here's hoping the shirt survives.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

High Heels - Tool of the Patriarchy?

It's a lot easier to control a population of people who can't move too quickly, are hobbling around in pain, and do serious damage to their bodies with their choice of footwear.  Is this why stripper heels just refuse to go out of style?


Spoken like a true person who has never had (and never will have) to spend the day walking around in high heels.

The Pros and Cons of Trying New Things

I’ve mentioned it before: I absolutely love molten chocolate cakes.  Chocolate lava cakes, chocolate fondant cakes, chocolate pudding cakes, whatever you call them - if they are on a menu I will always order them. 

I have a favorite recipe that I’ve written about beforehere.  I use this recipe almost exclusively because the last time I used a different one, the end product was inexplicably and bizarrely salty and so I thought I had learned my lesson.  But the recipe I use is one clipped from a magazine, and this means it’s filed away somewhere whenever I need it (and usually in a different place than it was the last time).  I’ve tried finding it online but it’s just not there, so when I really want to make these cakes and can’t find this recipe I have to resort to trying a different one that’s available online.

This time, that recipe was Martha Stewart’s.





Now don’t get me wrong, it was okay.  The cake was rich and dense and moist, the chocolate flavor was sufficient, and these rose up nicely.  They were very one-note though; there was no vanilla or salt in the recipe, two things that I think really enhance and bring out the chocolate flavor in something, and two things that are needed to keep such a cake from being boring after as few bites.  Look at them up there, they were looking great!  But then there was the whole "removing them from the ramekin" fiasco:


Yeah.  Maybe this was my fault (and knowing me and my past experiences with making baked goods look nice, it probably was) but maybe it wasn’t!  Anyway, these were good.  Not good enough to repost the recipe though so I highly recommend if you are looking for a recipe to use the one posted here instead.  In fact, make them both and compare.  You’ll see what I mean.

It isn't all bad though.

I tried a fruit variation on my favorite margarita and I thought it worked out very well.  Typically, I'd make a flavored margarita simply by making a regular one and then muddling in some fruit.  We had these great strawberries but from experience I know strawberries are a little tough to muddle so I looked up some ideas of how to incorporate them without just pureeing them and dumping them in.  I found this recipe from Tide and Thyme that involved making a strawberry simple syrup and thought it was so smart!  By making a strawberry simple syrup, the strawberries were more a part of the margarita as opposed to just some puree tossed in that would separate out.  I don’t measure when I make my drinks (honestly, it’s a waste of time because typically when you’re making a drink you’re making it because you want a drink in your hand ASAP) but I do count to keep track of ratios, so that's why the amounts here are in seconds and not in, well, actual amounts.






Strawberry Margarita
adapted from Tide and Thyme
makes 2 drinks


Ingredients:
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1.5 cups strawberries, hulled and sliced
  • 12 seconds 100% agave silver tequila (I use Kirkland Signature brand from Costco.  Not joking, it's my favorite silver tequila in a mixed drink.  Espolon and Patron are for sipping, Kirkland is for margarita-ing.)
  • 4 seconds Triple Sec or Cointreau
  • 3 seconds Rose's Lime Juice (less than normal because the simple syrup will help sweeten)
  • Juice of one small lime or half a big one, with the other half cut into wedges for garnish
Directions:
  1. Make simple syrup by boiling 1 cup of water and 1 cup of sugar until the sugar is melted.  Let cool thoroughly by being patient or putting in an ice bath.
  2. Blend the strawberries with your simple syrup in a mini food processor or a blender until combined.  I left mine a lot chunkier than Tide and Thyme did, I like being able to see my strawberries and eat them at the end.
  3. In a cocktail shaker with ice, pour in your tequila, Triple Sec, Rose's lime juice, and real lime juice.
  4. Add about half of the strawberry simply syrup you made but use your judgment.
  5. Shake up well, for about 30 seconds, and then strain and pour into a glass filled with ice.
  6. Garnish with a lime wedge and serve!


Thankfully I made way too much strawberry simple syrup so I'll be having these the next few nights.  I need them after braving the traffic of the drive home.




























Monday, February 24, 2014

I Hope all the non-Misogynists just Don't Post Online

I've been feeling particularly left out at work lately when I hear the men yelling all around me in response to an email chain they have going among themselves, myself being the only one not included (naturally).  Not that I care particularly about discussing politics with them, but it hurts to be left out.  I can understand why I'm not invited to the strip clubs after work events with them, and why I'm not included on the email chain dedicated to passing around degrading pictures of women, but I feel pretty awful being left out of everything because I'm a girl.  The guy who walks by everyday and asks "Where's the homo?" referring to a coworker won't even say hi to me, but he'll stand there and joke about the Playboy magazines he has back at his desk with the guy next to me as though I'm not even there.  I didn't think that work would be like this - I knew there was misogyny and it was going to be tough for me to break through and get people to accept me, but I really didn't anticipate me working here for a year and a half and some people still not saying hello to me, preferring instead to sniff and announce "I smell the homo!"  Their attitudes are disgusting to me, but I know nothing will change them so I just try to ignore it rather than argue.

There was an interesting article in Gawker about Reddit and their moderator approved policy of protecting pedophiles from abuse by banning users who out others as having admitted to pedophilia.  A moderator was quoted in the thread as saying :
"Look at it this way: you're in a thread, and you see that someone's posted nudie pics if [sic] the chick they replied to. You have one of two thoughts - a) "that's pretty creepy", or b) "nice tits". But if you see that someone has shown that another person is a kiddy fiddler, you're going to be angry. Now, while you may not, other people will want to punish that person."
 which I have found to be a common sort of opinion on the various subreddits I've visited.  Women who post pictures of their bodies are haunted by them in every thread they go into while men who post stories of doing terrible things (including rape and being pedophiles) are protected and even defended by the community.  The common response towards women who complain about this is that they put those pictures out there so they should have known better, never mind the fact that the men put their own stories of pedophilia out there and should have expected such a response.  It's a commentary on the state of Reddit that these men are aghast when their past posts about committing rape or whatever else are used to discount their arguments in relevant threads while women can expect their body pictures to show up in any thread they post in.


This echoes the typical response after a woman has been raped, when she is asked what she was wearing or if she willingly went home with the guy or if she consented to other sexual acts with him.  This is just another form of "she was asking for it", as though her decision to post pictures of her (which, personally, I don't think is a wise one) means she is consenting to widespread use of those pictures to humiliate and silence her.

It's incredible to me that the moderator quoted above can't thing of any responses to someone distributing someone else's pictures in a way they did not intend with the intention of undermining their argument beyond a dismissive "That's creepy" or an interested "nice tits" (and really, women, you should be flattered.)  His lack of empathy for people who go through this as compared to his feelings of protecting pedophiles from anger is disturbing but certainly not uncommon.  The now-defunct website IsAnyoneUp offered a platform for scorned lovers to post pictures and personal information of their now exes, and it was wildly popular despite the obvious cruelty behind the idea.  The people whose lives were upended by having their personal pictures and information posted on this site were overwhelmingly women, and the fact that the website was as popular as it was is exemplary of the utter lack of feelings we have about ruining a woman's life and reputation, mainly because "She took the picture, she was asking for it".  The fact that we feel that women who take these pictures of themselves deserve to be punished or outed for what they are ("sluts", of course) is disgusting and belies the deep seated misogyny in a society that claims to be free of sexism because women are as common in the workplace as men.  She took a picture, she's a whore, disregard her.  She wanted attention, now she's getting it, she should be happy men are looking at her and thinking "nice tits".

I used to read the /r/seduction subreddit with some frequency, mainly because I thought the stories were so obviously fake that they were hilarious, until I heard some of the men I work with using the terminology used on there.  It astounded me that people I knew in real life could be like those guys on /r/seduction, viewing women as prizes to be won or achievements to be unlocked by the end of a night by following a few specific steps and rules, removing a woman's agency by lying and playing games with her and essentially tricking her into doing what he wants her to do.  My time on /r/seduction and the similar (but exponentially worse) /r/theredpill was both enlightening in that I didn't know there were so many people out there who thought this way and disheartening because I didn't know there were so many people out there who thought this way.

Majorican Pearls

While we didn't really find any houses we loved as much as the one last week, and we even went all the way to a place that wasn't even having an open house.  I kind of hate these things - the real estate agents are typically so pushy, and at the first one we went to they were putting down the place we loved last week saying how they looked like "Brooklyn townhouses rather than a real home" (um, yes, that's why we liked them!).  However, we did meet a real estate agent we were absolutely enthralled by.  She was a much older woman, totally uninterested in selling us the house, full of fascinating stories, and dressed to the nines.  Her clothes were clearly very expensive but what struck me most was the super plain cut of everything, made interesting with a set of gorgeous Majorican pearls around her neck.

What I wore for our day of open houses:

laveer boxy jacket with leather and suede trim || burberry brit short sleeve tee with leather epaulets || vince ponte ski pants



I wanted to copy her today by wearing my mom's Majorican set - earrings, bracelet and necklace.  I love the look of these - they're like classic pearls with a serious edge.  Gotta work on the lighting in my living room, it's pretty rough when there's no natural light coming in.  A coworker told me about fixing the white balance so I'll have to try that next time.

st. john diana melange pants || vince pima cotton raw edge long sleeve tee in navy || j. crew paisley mona pumps || balenciaga papier two tone flap tote || majorica necklace, earrings and bracelet


butter london "trustafarian" nail polish


tory burch reva flats (don't wanna screw those heels up in the melting snow outside!) || to-go coffee cup from costco

If I could afford to have my entire work wardrobe be St. John, I would do it in a heartbeat.  Their clothing is so beautifully made and fits so well.  I found these Diana pants at Nordstrom Rack for $70 (off of $595) and knew I had to have them.  In fact, I hunted throughout the whole store for a pair in another color because they fit that nicely and were that great of a deal but to no avail.  I'm glad I was able to get at least these, they were totally worth it and to top it all off are long enough for me.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Field Trip!

It was absolutely beautiful out yesterday - sunny and mily - so we decided to take a little walk to soak up some of the nice weather and get out of this apartment we've been cooped up in for most of winter.


tibi skirt || j. crew tippi sweater in heather caramel || vince crew neck leather jacket || fendi chameleon || saks fifth ave black label randi flats

We live right next to the National Lighthouse Museum, which sounds kinda nice but is really a bunch of dilapidated, rundown building. We decided to walk over to see the state of them since we haven't been able to due to all this snow.  I still haven't gotten used to taking pictures in public; I feel so silly, like who do I think I am? They definitely come out better than indoor or mirror pictures though so I can see why they are a necessity, I'm just way too self conscious for it still.


that's the adiministration building behind me.  It's in pretty good shape.



more of the administration building

this sign is the understatement of the year




old building in front of the new building next door to us


still don't know what the purpose of these things is, like if there was money to decorate why didn't they just fix up the building a little bit?


when I was younger and would walk by those windows always scared me, like someone was going to be standing in them if I looked up.


our neighborhood


our building!

 I am excited for the weather that start being a little better so I can go around giving my camera some use and maybe taking some better outfit photos.  My feet were soaked from all the melting snow from this excursion so I may have jumped the gun a bit here, but it was still nice to get out.  Today we are going to some more open houses so hopefully I will get some pics of that.

How is everyone else's Sunday looking so far?